Laura is doing OK. 2nd round, day +5 and she’s still wiped out and generally doesn’t feel well. Her back is worsening again, although she doubled her pain meds recently. But her main gripe is just that she’s tired of the chemo screwing up her appetite and eating. I’ve learned that eating discomfort and lack of appetite are typical side effects of her particular “dense dose” chemo drug. Laura’s just tired of eating jello for a month and discouraged with the prospect of this continuing for the foreseeable future.
Indeed this is a long haul, likely to continue at least through the end of the year, regardless of her next set of scans. She’s too beat up by the drugs to do much more than sleep during the weeks between infusions, so it’s important that someone else is around for the kids, etc. Fortunately Natalie and Joe are here right now and we’ve had at least one of our parents around since early September.
But if this continues for months at least, we decided that it would be better to make a more significant change. So I decided today to take a leave of absence from the university. Laura encouraged me to do it — which was an important factor. My department has been extremely supportive, so the only downsides seem to be a loss of research momentum and less one-on-one support for my PhD students. But my students are sharp and I’ve found good backup advisors for them, so I think they’ll be fine.
In the end, given that I can keep our health care and I’m lucky enough to be able to afford the time off, it seemed stupid not to do so. It’s a tough time for Laura and she needs support. It’s stressful for our kids to suddenly not have their mom much engaged in their lives — maybe Dad can make up some of that loss. I haven’t been very productive at work. I’d rather be at home. Who knows what the future holds. So really why not?
Long haul
Mon, Oct 29th, 2007 11:48pm by dkulp
Tags: Uncategorized
7 responses so far ↓
1 PJ Coleman // Oct 30, 2007 at 8:08 am
David,
I’m not that good with words; honored and humbled do not begin to describe how I feel about having you as a brother-in-law.
pj
2 Aunt Cathy // Oct 30, 2007 at 9:47 am
I feel much the same as PJ. You are an amazing man, David. You and Laura are lucky and fortunate to have each other. Love remains when there is nothing else.
Aunt Cathy
3 Mark Taggart // Oct 30, 2007 at 10:20 am
See, there’s the verb “to rock,” referring to the skilled playing of drums and various other noisemakers, and then there’s “to rock,” referring to the collective actions that make someone a truly remarkable human being. You cover both, Dave– especially the latter. I am sure this is the best treatment Laura could wish for, and will help her get through the difficult parts of recovery. I’m also sure the school is there for you– that’s what leaves like this are designed for. Keep calm and carry on, man.
4 Katrin // Oct 30, 2007 at 10:24 am
David, I’ve found that one of the great benefits of working in a university is the incredible support from faculty & staff colleagues as well students during times of crisis and difficulty. It is a community that comes together like few others, and I’m glad to hear you’ve been able to work out a leave of absence to support your family. What an incredible gift Laura has in you! I think of you all often and have you in my prayers. Peace, Katrin
5 Stanley Karel, Terri and family // Oct 30, 2007 at 10:56 pm
David,
Laura is so lucky to have such a loving and caring partner. We know having you “full time” will help her get through this trying time. Please tell her we send our love and think of her daily. Thanks again for keeping us updated.
Love and prayers,
Stanley Karel and Terri
6 Irene Bosch // Oct 31, 2007 at 6:34 am
Dear David,
It is so nice to be able to hear your voice and that from others, of support and love to Laura. Your narrative is such a good way to keep connected and learn about so many different aspects of the disease.
I am sure that being at home is the best way to help. All of us will find ways to keep you posted too, regarding research. I am proud to work with you, to have met the human side behind the remarkable scientist you are. I am from a far away Campus, but had been lucky to be able to work closely with you this year.
Having a different native lenguage it is hard to use the right words, and use proper English to express the ideas inside. But I wanted to tell you a story of last week while I was in Nicaragua working for few days. I arrived to help them set up some kind of test for dengue infection. The Hospital, in a poor City inside the country, had nothing in place to diagnose infectious diseases. Instead of a dengue outbrake, they had yet another outbrake of an infection caused by a bacteria called leptospirosis. Same charateristics than dengue, but a bacteria instead of a virus. The treatment exist for leptospirosis if it is detected on time. Therefore, these poor people were unable to diagnose rapidly the disease and as a consequence many died while I was there.
I could not help them as much I as wanted as all I was doing was the dengue PCR from blood samples.
But my colleagues told me many times that small steps will eventually will make them move bigger distances… I felt so impotent. There was so much lack of technology, modern medicine, even minimal things needed for proper care of the patients. That is why what we are doing together is very important and one day it will help many people.
There is a great benefit of having a developed scientific research.
I do believe that there are many new therapies for treatment of cancer and there is hope. You are doing an amazing job at work and at home.
I am sure that the physical place for you is home because I can assure you that the science we do together will keep moving forward and you will find it always there for you, when Laura gets better. Thanks for being my colleague.
7 Melissa Cline // Oct 31, 2007 at 4:45 pm
It’s hard to imagine having any long-term regrets about doing something like this. But it’s easy to imagine regretting not doing it.