Loose Strife

A few weeks ago a dear neighbor of ours lost his eldest daughter in a tragic car accident. The young woman was truly remarkable and it was a huge shock to the family and her many friends.
We made some chile for them soon afterwards and received a thank you letter yesterday. I’ve often said that great loss is harder to manage when it happens unexpectedly. There’s no anticipatory grief and no preparation. Instead there’s shock and disbelief. So I was particularly impressed to receive a thoughtfully written note.
It’s the Day of the Dead today. We’ve made an ofrenda as we do every year. Now there are photos and memorabilia of many family displayed on the table. Tamara’s mom. My father — who died two years ago. My stepson’s grandfather who died last year. My brother-in-law’s father died recently and his memorial service is Saturday.
It’s good to recognize the losses that we all share. But the thank you card from my friend also reminded me of how little I wrote in reply to the outpouring of cards, flowers, and so much help and sympathy that I received when Laura was ill and after she died. I regret that I expressed my gratitude so little, particularly because I was and still am so very grateful.
So five years hence, thank you all.