Loose Strife

For years, Laura had two 4×6 photos taped to a wall. They were two eyes of her left and my right eye. I saw it on the wall again recently and it struck me that the way that Laura saw the world, what she thought was interesting, and how she captured it were deeply a part of who she was, but something not much memorialized. It wasn’t her work, her opinions, her music, or her things, but the images she collected that really described her.
Just before christmas I found another folder of images from post cards, newspaper and magazine clippings, old B&W photos, and other odds and ends. Along with boxes of scrapbook collections, her own photographs documenting the world around her and other stuff that I keep finding, I don’t think I’ll have any trouble posting an image per day for quite a while.
I don’t plan to say much about these images. Just an image per day. Happy New Year! Enjoy.

Here are two more noteworthy films from our town’s film festival.

This first film, “It Can Happen“, is arguably the best short in the festival, but it didn’t win any awards.

If you’ve seen the movie Mamma Mia you’ll better understand the next film, but that’s not too important. Lily and Naomi didn’t make it to the shooting (Dad spaced out again), but I can promise you that pretty much every other woman and girl in town did. Thus it was a shoe-in for audience favorite as the ballot box was essentially stuffed! This is a lot of fun and the girls like to watch it over and over. Dancing Queen!

Here’s the winning entry from the 2009 Ashfield FilmFest. Naomi makes a cameo at the very end. Lily is in there, too, for a split second, but she’s even harder to spot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtXPiXbgJBk
The audience choice award was a hundred or more women and girls dancing through town to Abba’s “Dancing Queen”. Maybe some day that will also make it to YouTube.
Here’s another winner from last year.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYAPMgRH7wA

Today I turned 40. Nineteen years ago I had another milestone birthday. I was in college, dating Laura, and she made me a birthday mix tape — something that seemed to be required in those days. I can remember spending hours trying to cue up my cassette to start at just the right time, to keep the levels right, but most of all to choose each song that was just right for the mix. Mix tapes were deep and meaningful and usually intently planned. They showed how bold you might be to choose a top-40 tune and follow it by some obscure bluegrass. Mix tapes allowed you to stake a claim to music for yourself or to express your devotion in ways that you couldn’t bear to say outright.
In our case, mix tapes were definitely part of our courtship. When I spent a year in New Zealand I sent Laura tapes of fantastic kiwi rock bands along with avant jazz artists that I discovered there. She sent me love songs squeezed into hip mixes with needle pops that she made after hours on the turntables at the college radio station. Later when she joined me and we slowly hitchhiked, bussed, and boated through the south pacific and southeast asia we would pick up new tapes for our Walkman — bootlegs in street bazars usually. We had two pairs of headsets with a splitter so we could listen together and the tapes we found became a soundtrack for our travels. Balinese gamelan was one I remember well. I can still hear the melodies even though I lost the tape years ago. Another odd find was a Leonard Cohen tribute album that we found in the Northern Territory in Australia and we discovered songs like “Bird on a Wire” and “Suzanne” together. I remember how disappointed I was to listen to the original Cohen tunes when I got back to the states. Great songwriters don’t necessarily make great singers or musicians — sometimes others say your words and sing your songs better than you can. That’s what’s so good about making a mix tape: you can make your own perfect tribute using someone else’s material.
Laura and I had a running joke that there was always a song on her mix tapes that “ruined it”. On this one she ends with “These Are the Daves I Know” from a Kids In the Hall skit. Another tape had an awful song by the Del Rubio Triplets. This tape will definitely bring back the late 80s for those of you also reaching 40 about now.
Laura called the tape Splendor in the Grass, which is a poem by Wordsworth:

What though the radiance
which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

It was eerie to read this poem for the first time recently when I looked it up after deciding to remake the mix. It’s hard to read it without crying. When I listen to the tape I hear so much of Laura then. And bittersweet echoes and ironies today. Of course I’ve listened to this tape for almost 20 years and it’s become part of my soundtrack. The tape now fades and warbles, but it’s the perfect reminder of the happiness of being young and in love. So “remastering” was a sweet birthday present for myself. Enjoy! (Email readers, you can listen by loading this post in your web browser.)
The blank line you see on the photo of the cassette liner is for the “Flower Duet” from the french opera “Lakmé” (thank you Shazam). The Winter Hours tune is actually a cover that I just found that’s true to the original, but better. “The Courtesan” and “Naomi” are warbly copies from the original tape.
If you want me to send you a CD, drop me a line.

Splendor in the Grass
1. Almost With You – The Church
2. Morning Song – Kilkenny Cats
3. Listen / Space – Marty Willson-Piper
4. Lover Man – Billie Holiday
5. In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel
6. Falling – Julee Cruise
7. Ten Minutes – Winter Hours
8. A Strange Kind Of Love (Version One) – Peter Murphy
9. The Perfect Girl – The Cure
10. For the Want of a Kiss – Nat King Cole
11. If I Could Be (One Hour Tonight) – Count Basie
12. The Courtesan – Dark Arts
13. A Smile In a Whisper – Fairground Attraction
14. Naomi – Soul Brothers
15. Haunt Me – Sade
16. One More Time – The Cure
17. Nobody’s Child – Maria McKee
18. Teach Me Tonight – Ella Fitzgerald & Count Basie & His Orchestra
19. It’s No Reason – The Church
20. Lakmé (Act I): Flower Duet – Alain Lombard, Danielle Millet, Mady Mesplé
21. Touch – Sarah McLachlan
22. The Lust, The Flesh, The Eyes & The Pride Of Life – Seventy-Seven’s
23. These Boots Are Made For Walking – 7 Seconds
24. Ah Stockholm – Marty Willson-Piper
25. The Daves I Know – Bruce McCullough

PS. The girls and I will be going to Boston this weekend to walk in the Komen Race for the Cure again. We’d love to have you join us if you’re nearby. Let me know.

Last September Laura participated in the Komen Run for the Cure in Boston just a few weeks before she died.
This year Heather, Elena, and the rest of Laura’s siblings and parents will be walking in the Komen Race in Washington, D.C. on June 6. Consider supporting them as they remember Laura and raise money for breast cancer support and research!

Laura’s bench marker was placed yesterday. I found the quote among some clippings that Laura had saved. It was written by Rossiter Raymond around the turn of the 20th century.
I went to see it for the first time at the cemetery today as did the girls and Joe and Natalie. It was very moving to see it there when I drove up — the black and the shiny newness stand out among the weathered grey around it. And her name in big letters there brings the reality home. But I like how the bench and the lettering and etching turned out. I worked with a drafter to create an art nouveau motif. Laura liked the style, particularly in graveyards, which she frequently photographed when we traveled.
Natalie and Joe took the girls to the Lily Library today where they donated some signed books by Mo Willems, a local author, to the Laura Kulp Memorial Storytime.
Laura’s birthday was a few weeks back. Naomi made a birthday card for Laura and the girls let it go on helium balloons.
Lots more happening. I lost my camera cable, but Natalie and Joe are visiting and brought a loaner cable, so I finally transferred 4 months of pictures onto the computer. I’m motivated again to post photos to the photos section soon (when I have a moment). In the meantime, a few highlights.
We still had winter snows not that many weeks ago. Winter really dragged on this year, but spring popped when it finally arrived.

Naomi has begun to draw “realistically” and to read and write.

Lily’s art has become sophisticated and creative with perspective and concept. Here’s a princess looking in the mirror.

Lily can now read “easy readers” well and is enjoying listening to chapter books. She received “Josephina”, an “American Girl” doll for her birthday, which she picked out herself. The backstory for this doll is that she’s a mexican american girl whose mother died. There are books that go with the doll that she loves to have read to her that, among other things, are about grief and ethnic traditions. Wow.
Lily has learned to ride a bike, although she doesn’t want to ride anymore because she can’t stop without crashing.

Naomi is happy running after her for now.

Lily turned 6 (yes that’s an apple pie). Naomi turned 4 last week and celebrated while we were visiting Virginia for spring break. For Easter we had fun hunting eggs with friends.

My Dad is turning 80 and we all went out to eat the night before his open heart surgery when we were down in VA. He’s in rehab, doing well, and expects to be home early next week.
Right now I’m working non-stop to get new plants in the ground. Joe has been invaluable in the field. And Natalie has been thankfully helping with the kids, food and such while she is recovering pretty well from major surgery herself. I couldn’t be doing all this planting without them. More on the farm another time. Here’s Joe with some grape plants.
(A reminder to email readers that bigger versions of the photos are available on the website by clicking on the images.)

During the last week of April and the first week of May I’ll be hand digging about 350 holes, weather permitting, for new plantings. If anyone is interested to join Joe and me, I’ll repay you in fruit some day. Send me an email, if you’re interested.

I was pleasantly surprised to find an article in the Hampshire Gazette yesterday about Laura and the library memorial for her. Thanks to everyone who contributed and helped make this happen.

Around Florence: Story hour honors local woman lost to breast cancer
by Laurie Loisel
Shortly after Children’s Librarian Kim Perez launched a story hour for parents and babies at the Lilly Library in 2003, she met Laura Kulp, a mom who joined with her daughter Lily. There were several other new mothers in that group, Perez remembers. “They all became really great friends,” she said.
The group was shaken to its core in 2007 when Laura Kulp was diagnosed with breast cancer, and died a year later.
“When she died, they put out a call to friends and relatives to donate to the library,” she said. One thing led to another and the story hour was renamed the Laura Kulp Memorial Lapsitting Story Time. It is offered Thursdays at 9:30 a.m., and is open to caregivers and their babies.
Donations from Kulp’s friends and family have generated about $1,000 for Lilly, money that is being used to replace “worn-out and well-loved books” and keep the lapsitting hour going for years to come, according to Lilly Director Mary Ann Tourjee. “It’s just a wonderful thing that these family and friends are doing in memory of Laura,” said Tourjee.
There are five other group story times at Lilly: preschoolers, ages 3 to 5, Tuesdays at 10 a.m.; toddlers, 19 months to 3 years, Thursdays at 10:30; the “I can read by myself” book club for newly emerging and independent readers, Tuesdays at 5:30 p.m.; and the Readers and Writers Club, which meets every other Tuesday at 4 p.m.
Perez said drop-ins are welcome, but it’s helpful, in planning for supplies and such, to give a heads up by calling 587-1500, ext. 102 .

Hi, this is Laura’s little sister, Elena, writing. Many times in the last (almost) six months, I have wanted to write here to tell everyone “thank you” for their generous support and love for David, the girls and our family. We were all so blessed to have many friends and family at Laura’s funeral Mass in October and many others at the memorial Mass in November. It was truly inspiring to all of us to see the many people that cared so much about Laura.
The fall was a blur for me and it shows in my garden. I left so much unattended. Now, as the plants are popping up, I realized that I need to get back to digging in the dirt. I have hopes of putting in a pink garden in memory of Laura throughout the year. I have complied a short list of flowers I’d like to have, so that something pink is blooming in at least three of the four seasons. I hope to have it under construction soon.
You may remember back in August, that I wrote a little about the little escapade Laura and I had at The Ritz Carlton. She had really wanted to have tea, but we ended up doing other things like talking and crying and Laura slept a good bit. We ended up not having tea. She hoped that we might still have a chance to do so, but we never did. The day before she died, I was sitting with her, just talking, hoping that she heard me, and I promised her that I would go to tea on her birthday, to celebrate her. Well, in about three weeks my parents and siblings are going to go and have tea on Laura’s birthday.
We also have one other big family event planned for June 6, 2009. On that day, we will take part, along with some members of the Kulp family, in the Komen Global Race for the Cure in Washington, D.C. My sister Heather set up a team page and I know that my family plans to walk together (my David is even planning to run his first 5K!). If anyone would like to donate or join us, please see the Kulp-Coleman-Arbeen team page. This fulfills another promise that I made to Laura back in October.
I have shed many tears these last six months. I think I cry a little every day, some days more than others, but still every day. I know that there is nothing that I can do and that I need to accept it as God’s will, but I still grieve. Those of you who know me may be surprised by this, but, maybe not. Us Colemans love our kinfolk. It is what we do and how we live. And, ultimately, it will be what gets me through missing Laura.

I remember well living in our little bungalow in Berkeley ten years ago and playing a live version of Mercedes Sosa singing “Gracias a la Vida.” Neither Laura nor I really understood much of the lyrics except for the title and a word here or there, but if ever there was an example of the power of song transcending language then this was it. Near the end of the song the crowd breaks into applause as she sings and you can just feel the power and emotion of it all in your gut. Laura and I listened to it over and over and often shed a tear at the end.

QT_WriteOBJECT_XHTML(“http://loosestrife.org/media/gracias_a_la_vida.mp3”, “320”, “40”,””,”cache”,”true”,”controller”,”true”,”autoplay”,”false”,”autohref”,”true”,”target”,”myself”);

Here is one translation:

Thank you, life, for giving me so much.
She gave me two bright stars, that when opened,
Can perfectly distinguish black from white
And high in the sky, the starry background,
And within the crowd the man that I love.
Thank you, life, for giving me so much.
She gave me sound and the alphabet.
With them the words that I think and declare:
“Mother,” “Friend,” “Brother” and light brightening,
The way of the soul of my lover.
Thank you, life, for giving me so much.
She gave me the wandering of my tired feet.
With them I’ve walked cities and puddles
Valleys and deserts, mountains and plains.
And your house, your street and your courtyard.
Thank you, life, for giving me so much.
She gave me a heart, that shakes its contention,
When I see the fruit of the human brain,
When I see kindness so far from what is bad,
When I look inside your bright eyes…
Thank you, life, for giving me so much.
She gave me laughter as well as mourning.
With both I distinguish happiness from pain –
Two of the ingredients that comform my singing,
As well as your song, that is mine too,
And the song of all, that is my own singing.
Thank you life! Thank you life! Thank you life! Thank you life!