Loose Strife

When Laura and I were first married we thought it would be fun to read to each other aloud in bed. The only problem was that I invariably fell asleep immediately. Since then it’s always been a running joke about Laura’s hypnotic personality.
The truth is that I fall asleep most quickly when I’m reading, not listening. Indeed, reading is something I have never done well — and regret it. When I read, my mind has to deliberately concentrate on a single thing and all the rest is pushed aside. By the time I settle into a good read my mind is so relaxed that I immediately fall asleep.
This idea of single-mindedness is at the heart of pretty much every meditative and relaxation practice. A very common preface to meditation is to slowly work your way from the top to the bottom of your body becoming aware of every part of your body and consciously relaxing each part.
Laura has the problem that she is often exhausted but can’t fall asleep. So I told her I would lead a relaxation practice. Now for the third night in a row she’s been asleep before I’ve reached the chin. Yesterday and today I asked her what she thought of the relaxation technique from the night before and both times she didn’t remember a thing. Each time I spent a good ten minutes talking out loud working my way down to my toes and I was almost expecting Laura to make some wisecrack just as I finished. But so far not a sound.
An old friend of mine from 15 years ago is no longer a software engineer and instead leads this kind of relaxation practice as a part of her work in yoga. She has (long) recordings on her website. So the next time you can’t sleep, listen to Sue. (Or me, if I’m nearby. Apparently I’ll put you to sleep, too.)